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THE HOLY SQUASH
LA SANTA CHICOCCE
   
In a convent, there was a monk who was known by everyone because he was able to guess the date in which Easter fell by counting the seeds of a squash.
Dentre a nu cummente, ci stave nu moneche chi ere cunusciute da tutte chiente picchè arriscive a ndduviniè quanna minive Pasche cuntenne li sumente di na chicocce.
   
This squash had to be one that he himself had planted from seeds in his garden, and which he called "The Holy Squash". When the monk opened a squash to guess the day of Easter, the people formed lines to see him.
La chicocce però aveva esse une di chille chi sumintave isse stesse all'uorte siè e chi isse chiamave "La Santa Chicocce". Quanne lu moneche aprive na chicocce pi dice quanna minive Pasche, la iente faceve la file pi videlle.
   
The sexton, who was envious, one day, thought that he would embarrass the monk in front of everyone. When the monk opened the squash in public, the sexton, unseen by all, added a handful of seeds in the squash. Lu sacristane, che tineve mmidie, nu iuorre pinzette di farije fa na brutta figure nniente a tutti chiente. Quanna lu moniche aprette la chicocce nniente a la iente, lu sacristane, senza farize vedè, ci'agghjugnette dentre nu pùonie di sumente.
   
The monk began to count, but, count and count, the seeds were always too many. He picked then another squash, but even this time the sexton added a handful of seeds in the squash. Lu moneche cuminzette a cuntà, ma conte e conte e li luvine di chicocce ni ere sempre troppe. Cugliette pure n'altra chicocce, ma lu sacrastene facette la stessa cose.
   
The monk, who did not know what else to do, when he got tired of counting, turned to the crowd and said: Lu monache, chi nin sapeve chiù chi fa, quannna zi stufette di cuntà, zi vultette verse la iente e dicette:
   
-According to The Holy Squash, Easter is neither coming this year, nor next year! - - Seconde la Santa Chicocche, Pasche nin vè né pi st'anne, né pi l'anne chi vè! -
   
The phrase "According to The Holy Squash" (Seconde la Sante Chicocce) is still cited today when one realizes that he is about to begin a useless activity, or one that will not bring anything good.  
 
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